Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I m losing myself to him. I am losing the essence of my being, I feel like a turbulence has taken over me and there is nowhere to go..no place to call home or even a refuge. He is so Manchu he can eat me up and leave the pieces to lay on the side of the road for everyone to see my remaining and what I once was. It's like I m fading away. I no longer AM. Maybe a creature of the underworld with no substance, with no entity and I have to break free, I need to escape his presence for what I am becoming…Smoke. Grey and wavering. I m not filthy, believe me I am pure and as they say there s no smoke without fire. Now I m not lost, I sneak around and maneuver my way. I feel whole again because there is no vacuum that can sustain me. Now I can experience a lot and say a lot and be a lot. I feel free and out of the mundane reality that everyone seems to be so stuck on. I preferably am a cigarette smoke. Every time someone puffs from his cigarette I circulate around her creating an aura of livelihood and a new kind of existence so vicious, so surreal and yet so true, you can try to touch me and yet I escape u to a present in another medium of another time. I was thinking about myself lately and I feel I m hot all the time; but the best thing about me is that I m not sticky. I am a lala rhythm especially from a cigarette where you can find a moral. I am created by someone who has a mood so intense he probably needs to get me out of his system. I reveal a different layer of truth and lies. I m created by a self destructive decision, yet so appealingly relaxing and independently stunning. I am the star of the show, never un-needed, never un-appreciated and usually set free to roam around the world without any idea of being belittled or smudged. I hate being smudged. And even when it turns dusty I AM again. I feel so original and worthy. From ashes to ashes and dust to dust. I am the ESSENCE. OH Gee, I am a master piece.