Its Okay

It's Okay
She woke up thinking of how alone she felt; among her family, the man sleeping next to her. Every night they kiss goodnight and turn their backs to each other and sleep fearing the coming night.
Nine months they pretend and touch each other only in public. They do everything the same, acting has become not only a habit for them but also a truth they are living…it got them closer together in a very sick way, it's the only thing that they have agreed on for 3 years now. They do it perfectly, in a way that they started to like it. They started to think it's what is meant to be. It is the dream every couple was looking for and couldn’t reach; they thought they have found the realm behind the reality. They had nothing to talk about anymore but the felt they couldn’t stop having dinner together, they had wine and candles every now and again just as proof that there was something romantic behind the nightmare, behind their abstaining from unity turning to lonesome. She stopped thinking about it, she stopped slapping him on the face when she senses he was with another woman, he stopped pushing her to the wall when he smells some other man's essence on her body. They stopped having make up sex because there was nothing anymore to make up for. There was nothing to make up for …they stopped making love, they stopped having rough sex, they stopped having sympathy sex and they stopped making out. They stopped cheating on each other because they stopped having any desire, they both became asexual creatures. They tried, believe you me, they tried …she never made him see her naked and he always wanted sex in the dark. Now they have showers together, they bath each other and feel nothing. They touch each other yet can't see a body just a shadow, an echo of something past. They watch T.V together and sometimes she falls asleep on his legs; he tries to move his fingers through her hair and fails; yet he holds her and puts her in bed.
They go out a lot now, they feel ecstasy when they pretend, maybe that s the only time they get turned on, they look like an amazing couple, she glows and he seems all so macho and they r like they can't take their hands of off each other. People feel jealous; their ex-affairs try the harder and harder to win them back. But they don't want anyone else anymore, they can't…they don’t want to be exposed.
She woke up thinking of how alone she felt; among her family, the man sleeping next to her. Every night they kiss goodnight and turn their backs to each other and sleep fearing the coming night. They started fearing what's next. They are not married, they have no kids, and they have nothing but the nothing they live in. they can't leave and fear to go on…again they have become identical, they are both so damn connected to each other and get the hell scared to sleep alone; they try to hug each other while sleeping and feel suffocating.
Shall we get married, she asked and he agreed, he said lets have babies and she said yes. But they did nothing, evolving is not a game they can play.
She woke up thinking of how alone she felt; among her family, the man sleeping next to her. Every night they kiss goodnight and turn their backs to each other and sleep fearing the coming night.