Sunday, January 23, 2011

you disgust me...I love you

You disgust me…I love you
You disgust me, your so-called strength disgusts me, and your love for life disgusts me. I have a feeling u r lost though; I have no clue who you are and you don't me neither. I pretend I m there in every move, but have no clue how you see me, do you comprehend me? Do you even know I am there, or just a shadow to your existence that you try to hide and cast a spell on so that I would never reclaim myself in you. I see myself, very far at the bottom of you, swapped and dragged back with your footsteps. Step by step and I fall apart. I see you love yourself more than you love me (ain't we one and the same), I don't wanna show you who and how I am. I don't wanna burn you inside me like you did me. I don't wanna screw you, like you screwed me; I don't wanna make you sorry. What!!! Ha…I can't, well, let us wait and see…maybe I can't because of that last embrace…yeah…wait, remember, remember when we used to dress up and play tea parties. Just you and me, and that old wooden setting, mama got us; remember when you used to build me that tent of pillows and the bed sheet under the kitchen table that you used to drag only you because I was small and tiny; you used to make fun of me and then hold me tight and lull me to sleep. Remember when we used to snuggle in each other one body one soul one entity. But you sold us out, you grew up, you say your strong and I am weak, you say I hold you back; but I m part of you, even if you are strong I can make you the strongest with my gentle weakness, if you are great I can make you greatest with my serene humbleness, if you are beautiful I can make you the most beautiful with my amazing defaults. Tell me, when you leave me here, what will become of me, and where shall I go; deserted and lonely, in that darkest hole so deep in the ground that you will only listen to sassing of a voice and not even an echo, I have an ego of my own but I would swallow my pride just to go on a ride with you, a ride in that green road of a childhood so far away yet so close. I want to tell you so much, I want you back. But I don’t want to retrieve you, but I want YOU to retrieve me. I want you to take me back, a part of you and not a zombie that you forecast. I love you.

No comments:

Post a Comment