Friday, August 27, 2010

From Kenya with love

And I thought that the sky would look different from country to country... it didn't not at all, certain other things looked different nonetheless, my own skin color made a difference I m brown and I m proud but I don't belong here much because I m not black... I m different I m fair there... I m fat but not noticed as fat here... I have curly hair that is much appreciated here.. not back home... I m more feminine here... I braided my hair and I still look different... I am who I am I am where I wanna be but he is the same... they are all the same... for the love of God... marriage proposal!!! what happened when I told him I don' t know u ... he said why don't I send the night with you in your room and then you can get to know me...I took the vagina monologues from my friend to read on my way to here... I read it before I slept and it did some effect... the problem is when I read and met that guy today I felt so much violated... I felt that my whole entity which if you don't know is mind body and soul... I felt my body was violated... he didn't hear me talk so he couldn't like how I think... he didn't take a deeper look beyond my physical existence so he just saw a girl... might have felt vulnerable or needy or desperate... but I m not ... I am ... I am... I dunno ... but not like this... not without my consent... not to be violated... my vagina wouldn't be insulted.I remember ... memories of love... memories taking place... I remember a guy asking me why not and I said things... I remember gentleness and not this... not this... I will not be violated.. I will be loved and needed and appreciated.I will be nooning for that is who I am.

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